A funny thing happened on the way to the bathroom - I threw my scale out the window!

Dear Mr. Scale. GET LOST! Every morning you taunt and tease me with your bullying tactics. I work out daily, sweating, shaking with my heart pumping into my mouth and there you lie accusingly every morning with your judgments and criticisms!

You’re stalking me everywhere I go. I can see you while I’m showering and peeing! I know you’re hovering there while I wash my face. I feel you with me when I eat and try and sleep! I need some space Mr. Scale! You’re smothering me!

You can never make up your mind, even when I’m standing there waiting for a decision! You stand there judging me flitting back and forth between decisions! You’re up and you’re down. Every day its different! I can’t count on you Mr. Scale! I’ve tried changing you, but even digitally you’re the same! Even worse sometimes you accuse me of ERR!

I’ve tried to distance myself from you, but I only keep coming back. I can’t resist your judgments! Sometimes I find myself on you or near you five times a day, and you always give me a different answer! Why oh why must you lie to me Mr. Scale?! Its cruel!

This is it Mr. Scale! You need to change! We cannot be together as it is now! I don’t want to see you again for a month! We can re-evaluate our relationship then!

Goodbye!